He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
