Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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