Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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