I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
