i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
