I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
