I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
