I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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