Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
