I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
If I die, sorry about rent.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
