and you said cock pushups were impossible
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
