i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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