Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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