There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
