We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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