6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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