Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
