Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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