Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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