i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
