omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize