When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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