East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
