i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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