Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
