He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize