I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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