im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize