I will die if light touches me.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
