If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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