Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
