he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
