Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Sober January is a disaster.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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