Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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