lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
