we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
