You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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