So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
