I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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