Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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