Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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