New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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