She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
