My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
