Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
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