One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
