Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
