yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It's never too late to be topless.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize