hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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