So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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