Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize