yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
