shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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