I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she looked like the before picture.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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