he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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