just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
