operation harelip BJ is a go
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I think a kid would responsible me up
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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