That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize