My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm passing your future prison.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
