This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
