What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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