plz talk dirty to me
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
