wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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