Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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