I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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